Post #28 - Living With fear: watching 'to catch a stalker'

GINA
3 days ago
3 min read

Stalking is never simply unwanted attention; it is often behaviour that goes unchallenged and consequently ruins lives.

When watching Zara McDermott’s BBC documentary To Catch a Stalker, I felt both enthralled and apprehensive. Within society we often see stalking broadcasted as something that occurs to celebrities or in extraordinary news stories. However, this documentary dismantles that notion. Instead, through the voices of ordinary women, we see how ex-partners, acquaintances and total strangers’ relentless imposition has inflicted daily fear.

The details are disturbing: infinite unwanted messages, hearing footsteps following behind them at night, having to double lock their doors every evening. Even when justice is served through restraining orders or prison sentences, victims describe their harrowing fear of what will happen once the stalker is released or their ability to find a new means of contact to continue stalking them.

The most unsettling elements for me were the slow and inconsistent responses from support systems which are ultimately available to help people. Many women resulted in collecting and reporting their own evidence to the authorities in hope for justice. It left me thinking about the people I pass in my day, are they silently changing their routines as they have not received help soon enough?

However, this documentary does not just highlight fear, it is also a story of resilience. Zara provides the opportunity for women to voice their own story, requiring courage and is both inspiring and heart breaking. Their honesty felt like a lesson for everyone in any unwanted situations: listen, believe and persevere for change to be made.

Zara’s documentary also reminds us that stalking is not restricted to being followed in the street, online harassment can be just as intrusive and dangerous. The persistent messages, location tracking and doxing alongside other behaviours must be acknowledged early on and labelled as stalking.

This documentary shows that change is possible. Stronger legal protections need to be put in place, more efficient police responses, and a broader public understanding of what stalking looks like both online and offline. We also need to promote having open conversations within our homes, schools, and workplaces, where someone’s fear is not mistaken as an overreaction, rather acted upon.

Watching this has left me shaken and motivated. Each of us play a role in encouraging women’s stories to be told, sharing helpful resources and simply supporting someone who feels unsafe.

If you have been subjected to stalking or harassment, please ensure to take care of yourself if you choose to watch To Catch a Stalker or decide against watching it. Additionally, if someone trusts you to open up about their story, being able to listen without judgement and support can often make a difference. At GINA, we believe that every story deserves to be heard safely. You can connect with our community, explore resources or share your experiences in a space that centres women and their wellbeing.

Support & resources:

If you or someone else is affected by stalking, support is available at:

National Stalking Helpline (UK):

- Call: 0808 802 0300

- Visit: www.stalkinghelpline.org

Paladin Service, the National Stalking Advisory Service:

- Call: 0203 866 4107

- Visit: www.paladinservice.co.uk

Protection Against Stalking

- Visit: www.protectionagainststalking.org

Victim Support

- Call: 08 08 16 89 111